i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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