Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sorry my hands just texted you
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
