I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
