they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
