i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
