I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
