So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
