Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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