Apparently you make a good broom.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize