Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
