Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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