Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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