So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?