Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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