My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
