nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
