Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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