I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
