it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
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I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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