You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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