Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
