i permit you to call me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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