i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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