I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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