Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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