Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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