well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
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The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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