belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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