omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
