im drinking this country out of the recession.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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