Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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