can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
