Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
