Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
