Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
