By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
