I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
