you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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