All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
