Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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