is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
