I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
