Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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