Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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