How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
