Sponge bath it is.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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