Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
