piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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