yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
