On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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