You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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