Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
