i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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