we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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