Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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