I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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