I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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