This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
