'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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