You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
