just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
