Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
