what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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