I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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