I can text with my tongue
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize