drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize