you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
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