btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
