i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
birth control should be required to get into college
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
