ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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