..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
